Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Catch up day!

So… once again I’m a bad blogger. I missed as many days as I blogged on this 30 day challenge. So lets catch up on some things.

I was supposed to blog about my family… I’m sorry but I’m going to skip this one because I don’t want to put their business out there.

So I was supposed to blog about my opinion of my body and how comfortable I am in it…

I’m gonna be honest here. Not my favorite topic, I basically hate my body, and I am very awkward and fidgety. I am very conscious about my body, but I live in a very unhealthy environment in every way possible. When I look at my high school pics  I can’t believe how thin I look because I NEVER thought I was that thin. I have this horrible dilemma. My whole family is overweight, and I don’t think anyone is more aware of it than me. My mama, lover her to death but chocolate is NOT the answer to everything, but low and behold she’s always there with a tasty treat for everyone, no matter who it is that  needs a little love. My father who a year ago would eat 2 sandwiches as a between meal snack, is now barely eating because he has a warped sense of food, and how glucose levels function. My sister packs more in her lunch for work than I eat all day. Then she  joins a weight loss competition at work and drops 10 pounds in 1 week. WTF? People always comment how I hardly ever eat, well let me tell you, every little calorie that I eat STICKS. No matter what. And that’s probably because for the majority of HS I messed up a lot of things about myself. Who knows. But I’ve never EVER been comfortable with  myself. I have hated Christmas since I was 3, because I hated people staring at me as I opened presents. I hated being so conscious about every part of me and what people would see, and how I should sit, stand, and expression on my face… do you have any idea what it’s like to be conscious of every muscle in your face and what it looks like to others?

The next blog I missed was what am I wearing today… lets see, black pants and a green t-shirt. Sexy I know.

Does my zodiac fit my personality? Well… I’m a scorpio… I’m gonna say yes. Look that up for yourself.

Something you always think ‘what it’ about

I’m not a what-ifer. I’m a hey, lets move forward thinker. I think WHAT IF about is in preparation of things. I’m big on prep… I plan a lot of events with scouts. I plan camp, what if the kids get bored. What if the kids don’t like this activity, what if it’s too easy, what if it’s too hard…

Something you are proud of: I’m proud of my scouts, those that have grown up, graduated and gone off to bigger things. Those who actually do things. Like Hannah, who spent a semester in Africa. Who used her brain to bring back dirt from a country where she couldn’t collect if off the ground. She’s going to change the world. My scout who is getting ready to graduate, went from a quiet 5 year old, to a boisterous middle schooler to a down right ANNOYING 9th grader. And now she’s a go-getter, a leader, a facilitator. And she has brass ones. So that’s what I’m proud of. These girls blossoming into amazing women.  

1 comment:

Adorably Dead said...

Love this post! And you always seem so confident and sure of yourself to me, I always looked up to that, especially in highschool, I never knew about the depth of the body issues.

And I completely feel you on the Christmas present thing. Oy vay.