Catch up day!

So… once again I’m a bad blogger. I missed as many days as I blogged on this 30 day challenge. So lets catch up on some things.

I was supposed to blog about my family… I’m sorry but I’m going to skip this one because I don’t want to put their business out there.

So I was supposed to blog about my opinion of my body and how comfortable I am in it…

I’m gonna be honest here. Not my favorite topic, I basically hate my body, and I am very awkward and fidgety. I am very conscious about my body, but I live in a very unhealthy environment in every way possible. When I look at my high school pics  I can’t believe how thin I look because I NEVER thought I was that thin. I have this horrible dilemma. My whole family is overweight, and I don’t think anyone is more aware of it than me. My mama, lover her to death but chocolate is NOT the answer to everything, but low and behold she’s always there with a tasty treat for everyone, no matter who it is that  needs a little love. My father who a year ago would eat 2 sandwiches as a between meal snack, is now barely eating because he has a warped sense of food, and how glucose levels function. My sister packs more in her lunch for work than I eat all day. Then she  joins a weight loss competition at work and drops 10 pounds in 1 week. WTF? People always comment how I hardly ever eat, well let me tell you, every little calorie that I eat STICKS. No matter what. And that’s probably because for the majority of HS I messed up a lot of things about myself. Who knows. But I’ve never EVER been comfortable with  myself. I have hated Christmas since I was 3, because I hated people staring at me as I opened presents. I hated being so conscious about every part of me and what people would see, and how I should sit, stand, and expression on my face… do you have any idea what it’s like to be conscious of every muscle in your face and what it looks like to others?

The next blog I missed was what am I wearing today… lets see, black pants and a green t-shirt. Sexy I know.

Does my zodiac fit my personality? Well… I’m a scorpio… I’m gonna say yes. Look that up for yourself.

Something you always think ‘what it’ about

I’m not a what-ifer. I’m a hey, lets move forward thinker. I think WHAT IF about is in preparation of things. I’m big on prep… I plan a lot of events with scouts. I plan camp, what if the kids get bored. What if the kids don’t like this activity, what if it’s too easy, what if it’s too hard…

Something you are proud of: I’m proud of my scouts, those that have grown up, graduated and gone off to bigger things. Those who actually do things. Like Hannah, who spent a semester in Africa. Who used her brain to bring back dirt from a country where she couldn’t collect if off the ground. She’s going to change the world. My scout who is getting ready to graduate, went from a quiet 5 year old, to a boisterous middle schooler to a down right ANNOYING 9^th grader. And now she’s a go-getter, a leader, a facilitator. And she has brass ones. So that’s what I’m proud of. These girls blossoming into amazing women.  

Day 9/10-lets meld days!

oops, mondays are going to by my hardest day to blog, since i put everything in to scouts that day.

So i missed yesturday's mission. Which was:

How important do you think education is?

Well do you want the short answer or the long answer?

Short answer: i think education is the single most important resource we have.

Long answer: I think that most of the problems we face in this country revolve around education. I feel that some people lose out on an education because of their health. We don't promote healthyness in this country. We talk about weightloss, and eating veggies and ruining cookie monster for future generations of kids. We talk about pills and medications, and stuff. But what we DONT do is whole body wellness. Mental health is important. Example:

Well if i'm broke, i have chronic asthma, not to mention the $200 a month that i can't afford for the medications to maintain my asthma.  i can't get a job in this economy, its my last semester of college and i have to think about student loans to pay back, i have to figure out if i can afford gas for the rest of the semester to get to school, to graduate, i can't stand being at home because of the above average level of craziness that is going on there, and we can't AFFORD healthy foods and i'm splitting a pack of ramen with my sister for dinner... and all i can think about during class is how thirsty i am and can't stop coughing. and if i can scrounge up the ludacris $1.50 for a soda out of the bottom of my bookbag.... how much learning is really going on? I'll help you out there: NONE. and just to help you guys out... this is what's ACTUALLY going on in my head this very minute along with several other things, like my take home test which is for philosphy that might as well have been written in chinese... oh wait IT IS!!!!! I don't speak a lick of chinese either. oh, except we do have more than ramen noodles, but only because my mother is buying the food and not me

I think that education is the greatest thing we can pass on to our children, and to others. however we are clearly dividing this country in half with those that can afford an education, and those that can't.

and i dont mean college. I went to a middle school where i was held back in math because my 5th grade teacher thought i was anti-social and couldn't handle REAL math. Guess what... i wasn't anti-social, i thought that kids in my class were imature idiots. I was never able to catch up in math. my 12th grade year i took 2 extra math classes to get to the level my sister was in, and she was in the 8th grade. My HS advisor wouldn't let my take the SATs, because i wasn't college material... What does that even mean? I'm 28 and just now reaching the level i should have been at when i was 22. Why? because the school system held me back, and i was never able to catch up. Was i capable? yes! They took my out of GT classes to put my in inclusion because i needed to make friends... ok... take me out of the class with all my friends since KINDERGARTEN and put me with strangers... that will do it.

i live in baltimore, and was FORTUNATE enough to go to county schools, but if i lived 5 houses to the left i would have had to go to Baltimore City schools. Guess what... WORST school system in the country. so bad that oprah considered bailing them out financially. Why is it the worst? generations of people not properly educated in common sense pass on their ignorance to others who are then left in charge to lead the masses.

I feel like we are seeing echo's of this in our current political climate. i feel like screaming at the major political parties saying LOOK YOU IDIOTS.... YOU BOTH GOT US IN THIS MESS BECAUSE YOU ARE REPEATING THE SAME MISTAKES OVER AND OVER! obviously they didn't learn from them yet...

so look children: pay attention in history class, learn what events lead to the great depression, world war 2, and look at what we are doing now, do they seem to echo?



i could rant some more... but i'll move on to music
day 10: put your ipod on shuffle and list the 1st 10 songs

I did this with great joy. I haven't found anyone with as diverse a taste in music as me... so maybe this list will give you a taste of who i am.
and i promise i didn't edit this, it's really what came up.
1: Changes by david bowie
2: Rubber ducky by Ernie from Sesame Street
3: Chemical party by gavin degraw
4: everytime we touch by cascada
5: you make me feel so young by frank sinatra
6: thats why god made mexico-tim mcgraw
7: Never again-kelly clarkson
8: 1985-bowling for soup
9: i just died in your arms - cutting crew
10: right round -flo rida


so what's playing on your ipod today?

Day-8 What i ate today

omg... its the weekend, a nice relaxing weekend of convenience...
and i dont usually eat breakfast... more like i dont eat breakfast foods, and then i skip lunch...

today i ate:
 lunch: mac and cheese (with bacon and horsradish ala Rachael Ray)
 dinner: homemade mushroom/bacon cheeseburger, with macaroni salad and deviled eggs
snack: mom brought home some scooter pies... never heard of them... so i tried it. not so much a fan...

i did drink alot of juice as i'm battling a kidney stone... fun...

day whatever-mainstream music

so i didn't number my day's and i've already lost count. I'll label my planner tomorrow...

so mainstream music: to processsed, too flashy, trying too hard.
at the same time i listen to it, like it, but prefer those who are in it for the music, the art, not the performance.

I have a very VERY diverse musical palate. I think that boy bands might have a good sound, and maybe 1 or 2 good hits but for the most part.... they are a fabrication of a bunch of people who want to 'make it' in the biz and some rich producer trying to make a buck. They don't last for a reason.

I am also picky. I love some songs based on lyrics. Some songs based on sound... and some songs just blow. I really think, with my whole heart, the make it or break it point in a song is the bridge. However, most mainstream music doesn't have a bridge, let alone a good one. I realized back in the 9th grade listening to the new band HANSON and realizing the bridge was IT.

I also disagree with the fact that people play a bad song so many times it grows on you... it sucked the first time, chances are people are only listening because of WHO is singing, not how it sound, or what it is about.

so I am going to ask you guys out there in bloggerville, what's your favorite non-nostalgic song and why?

day 5-Things you want to say to an ex

Well, this is easy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today just happens to be his birthday, and I hope it's an awesome one!

sorry it's not more juicy and vile but I don't have anything negative to say!

day 4: Bullet your day

* wake up
*rummage for appropriate clothes
*bandage foot (i got blisters yesturday)
*go downstairs
*fight with house computer
*computer wins
*deal with val's cat that wouldn't let my cat to litter box in time
*clean up cat pee
* go to car with Jessie
*pick up Ashleigh
*meet Rhonda for lunch to discuss mother's club
*drop Ash @ rec center
*stop at rite-aid to get jess water
*drop jess @ library
*come home
*put on bumy clothes
*remember to start bulleting my day
*read email, get lost while surfing internet
*gather laundry
*take laundry to main floor
*pick up val @ work
*come home carry laundry to basement
*val's clean clothes are covering the dryer, and in front of dryer, wait 20 min for her to come get them
*take vals clothes out of dryer and put in basket she just HALF emptied
*put vals other clothes in dryer
*spend 45 min looking through large bins of craft stuff
*return to main floor
*fix drink, i'm thirsty
*go upstairs to room
*read assignments for school
*IM michelle
*turn on music
*work on homework
*be interupted by val
*back to work
*interupted by dad
*i've lost me focus
*interupted by mom
*forget it.... HW's a no go today... crap i'm behind
*send a few important emails and texts trying to collect everyone's cookie numbers
*text jessie
*explain to mom why my sister's cat is bad
*pick up jessie from library
*come home, dinner's ready... yucky
*watch Ozzy lose surviver challenge while jessie eats
*come upstairs
*discuss my day with jessie
*cry, complain, then she cheers me up
*console her for my insanity
*type this list
*eat dinner so Jessie isn't mad for me not eating
*go to bed.
*nighty night!!!

Day 3-a book you love

well now... i havn't read much else besides text books for a few years and it's really killed my love of reading to the point where i find difficulty in reading. I've been reading Jane Eyre for 3 months now and am barely reaching the mid-point... don't tell me what happens, netflix taunts me enough reminding me every time i turn it on that it's waiting in my queue for when i finish the book.

I will have to say my all time favorite book is the True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle. I don't know why but this book has stuck with  me, and the only book other than the Little House series and Harry Potter that i have read more than once. This book is about a girl's comming of age story, when she starts as a lady on a boat and through a series of events goes from daity high society girl to rugged ship captain. When she put her dress back on and meets her parents on shore i just remember her mother's horror that her hands looked like they had seen work, and her skin too much sun.

i love comming of age stories, i dont know why, and i didn't realize it until i watched so many movies netflix created that as my most popular genre. I also love socially defiant women who push boundaries and live life for themselves, finding their own passions.

30 day challenge-Day 1

I decided i'm going to do some challenges here and there. To start i'm going to do a 30 day getting to know me challenge. I am not sure who originated the list i'll be working off of, but i've seen it in multiple places so... thanks whoever you are.

Now, tomorrows monday and we all like to start our new projects monday morning... diet starts january 1st right? i dont believe in new years resolutions because i think that's just a socially acceptable form of procrastination and i'm trying to NOT procrastinate. Tomorrow never comes.

so...

Day 1: 5 ways to my heart...

well this one's a little difficult for me and i am not sure why...

1: be comfortable with yourself. Be honest with yourself about who you are and know your strengths and limits.

2: Challenge me. I thrive most when challenged by others. It pushes me further, past my previous boundaries.

3: don't try to control me. Don't ever tell me what i can and cannot do, it's a sure way to make me do it anyway.

4: support me in all my endevors. I have many goals and interests and things i want to do. Don't dimish it, just support me.

5: Be handy. Know how to do something. Whether it's make an awesome dinner or fix the plumbing, know how to do something relevant to daily life, and contribute.